I got up early, before the sun had risen, and went surfing this morning. I saw the sunrise and it was beautiful – only lasting for a few brief minutes before disappearing behind the clouds. Mat paddled out a few minutes later and I mentioned the sunrise. Mat said that he took a photo of it….
I think of Molly often – a zillion times throughout the day – but seeing the sunrise this morning made me think of the wonder and beauty of Heaven. Heaven is glorious, and I immediately had a vision of Molly and I felt myself smile.
A little while ago I was pushing Kieran on the swing, and Kieran asked me if we could go to Heaven today and see Molly because he misses her. Mommy and I miss her too, buddy. We miss her so much that just the mention of her name makes me cry sometimes.
I have been surfing a lot these last few weeks and spending many sessions sharing waves with my friends – good friends as well as guys and gals that I only know from spending time in the water. Condolences are appreciated, but you don’t need to express your sympathy because it’s not needed…I can see the pain you feel for us in your eyes and I thank you for your good thoughts.
I can’t begin to describe to you what it feels like to lose a child. We have all experienced loss, we have all grieved for someone whom we have loved and lost, but losing a child is having to endure far worse than any pain imaginable. I feel as though I have lost a part of myself. There is an emptiness inside of me that paralyzes me from time to time, and it strikes at any given moment and I begin to cry. I have shed tears for my friends that have died, for my mother and mother in-law, and for my grandparents when they passed away, but the tears that I cry for Molly cripple me. But I am healing because I can sense that I’m getting stronger.
Chris, a surfer who I don’t know well, and I were walking out of the water today and he mentioned that his daughter’s name was “Molly.” I know that I am gaining strength because I didn’t crumple to my knees when he mentioned that to me. All I said was, “Molly is a beautiful name.”
Molly, much like this mornings sunrise, is beautiful. I love you, baby, and we all miss you….
Buck
Yeah for your first post! …and it was so beautiful. xoxo
May you keep those sweet memories of Molly to help you through each day. I grew up near the ocean, and know its healing qualities. Wish I lived closer now.
Beautiful site. Beautiful words. Keep hanging on to the healing surf …
As I read this book I came across a line and it made me think of you guys and all of us who are parents…”.we never HAVE children, we RECEIVE them. And sometimes it’s not for quite as long as we would have expected or hoped. But it is still far better than never having had those children at all.”
Thank you for sharing such a beautiful site with us.
Yo!
Katie called me and said I got some mail in a padded envelope. I was amped because they were my Molly stickers. White for my rig and pink for Katie’s. I ran out at lunch and put it on! I’m rockin them with mad love!
Big Hugs to you, Meg, and Kieran.
Wes.
Buck, Meg and Kieran, you will always have the prettiest little angel
watching your every move..Big hugs and kisses to you all.
The Harkovich family xoxo